I’ve been out of a relationship for a while. Been trying to figure myself out and didn’t see the point in pulling someone else into my life while I was still trying to figure mine out.
Finally started to pull myself together and things have been looking brighter. Even met someone I was super into but that didn’t work out. What sucked about that was that they didn’t even get the change to know me. Had to cut ties cos I still had feelings, plus that’s my coping mechanism..sucks I know, but hey, it works for me, albeit in the short term. Though a positive from that was I realized I could still have strong feelings for someone; been questioning whether I was capable of having feelings again…
What super sucks is that I moved away for a bit and left behind amazing friends I consider my family. We keep in touch once in a while, but I still miss them and often feel like i’m missing out whenever everyone’s together. I’ve met a lot of new people where I am, but not enough for me to open up, share or have a genuine connection with anyone.
Some days I feel super lonely and depressed. I end up keeping myself busy to not deal with my emotions but when i’m all alone, the feelings creep up again. Shoutout Netflix for the distraction. I wish I had my close friends around to speak with them. They’re all the way in a different continent/time zone and by the time we’re able to speak or catch up, its usually not till days after and I end up just forgetting/bottling things up.
I count down the days till i’m back, but I still get worried it won’t be the same. Everyone seems to be moving on, being in relationships, and I feel like I might be left behind by the time i’m back. Still, I just put my head down, focus on what I have to do, and take each day at a time.